So where was I??? Oh wow…it has been a while…the real last post was celebrating my 19th anniversary with my bride…and we just celebrated 20..where has all the time gone??
Oh well…water under the bridge…since last we talked things have changed a bit in my life. In December I left Christ Chapel Bible Church after 6 years of being on staff and started working for CRM Studios. Sounds like a quiet move but actually CRM is contracted by Glenn Beck and I am now the Technical Director for the Glenn Beck Show which is on GBTV.com . For those not in the TV world the TD is the guy who sits next to the director in the control room in front of a bunch of buttons and uses those buttons to put the video that you see on the air…
Sounds like a simple decision if you are in the TV world…but for those that are in the church world…maybe not so much. Well I can tell you that this job change was by far the hardest decision my bride and I have ever made (hint to married folks…I mentioned that we did it together…just a helpful marriage tip for free) in our married life about anything. I had some friends who were excited for me and some who thought I had sold out…I even had a liberal friend laughingly say wow so you quit working for Jesus and went to work for the devil….either way we made it and then plunged in with both feet…but not easily with both feet.
So now here we are 6 months later…and how do I feel? Well…so far so great. I am not going to get into the political side of working for a guy who is very political…in fact I don’t even want to write about Glenn at all. Nope this about trusting God…I know you are now saying what….wait uh….how can you turn this to trusting God?? Well duh…easy…if you think that I didn’t pray about this huge change then you need to put the crack pipe down and read the rest of these writings…God is central in my life and to do anything without Him is not something I would ever consider…
So getting to the trust part…yes I prayed…my wife prayed…I had some friends praying although I didn’t have many because we kept it pretty tight lipped…why?? Well because I didn’t think I would get the job…actually…I didn’t even want the job…yep…you read that right…I didn’t want the job with a very high profile individual that could be a great addition to the resume.
See I was approached by a friend who said he needed to hire a bunch of folks and would I help him with names…and then the conversation turned to the position of TD…he asked if I would be interested in the position….I said…nope…no interest what so ever….and that was true…I was happy at CCBC and was comfortable I mean why would I take a job that would not have me in charge of the department anymore…even after I decided to throw my name in the hat…I thought nothing about it…I didn’t think it would really happen…even after the 2nd interview…cause I figured I was doing what God wanted me to do…I was doing His work in His church…why would He put something else in front of me? Besides if I did take the job it would require me to leave my position immediately without a notice…
Now realize my boss at CCBC knew what was going on…so it wasn’t going to be a complete surprise…I am not that cold…OK…so quit thinking that..
So when the call came and the offer was on the table…I was on vacation I still thought…that this was not what God wanted…but something in my heart just said take it…and I did…and then…for the next week…I thought I had made a huge mistake…not because of the job…but because I had this pit in my stomach…like I had made a huge mistake…I even thought I would can the whole thing and get my old church job back… I now look back and see that pit in my stomach was my doubt to trust that what God had in store for me was not what I wanted to have in store for me…after a week or so I just decided I would trust Him and trust that He had what was best for me in mind…and you know what?? It has been awesome!! The company is great!!! The people are great!!! Also the challenge of being on the cutting edge of technology and get a chance to be a part of the great team that is GBTV….absolutely awesome!!
I say all this to show you that if you think you can’t trust God with a big thing like a job change or a career change STOP!! Trust Him even when it looks insane..and when it doesn’t make sense…I have no clue what He has in store for me…but if there is one thing I have learned is when you trust and really turn it over to Him…good things happen…maybe not even the way you think they should…in fact most the time it happens in a way you could never imagine…
Look folks…there is nothing too big for Him…He can handle it…just trust Him…and oh by the way…He is not surprised by your need or request…He knew it was coming…way before you knew it was coming…well…time to get groovin’…..
So today…is a good day…why??
Well 19 years ago today I saw a vision of loveliness come down an aisle. Yep today my girlfriend made the nutty decision to say “I Do” in front of a few folks…am I glad she did?? Good question…
News flash!! Marriage is tough! OK maybe not red hot news flash…but it is hard…once all the fluff and excitement of the wedding and honeymoon is over you wake up and go… “Hi…who are you again??” I know that sounds stupid…but if you are married hopefully you get my meaning..
Leading up to the ceremony we get all the advice we can take….and most we didn’t ask for in the first place about what it takes to have a good marriage…but afterwards…the two newlyweds and shown the door of the church and everyone seems to say…. “Well….see ya later…let’s us know when the kid is born…”
Then you go through the growing pains of figuring out the good parts and the bad parts of the person you couldn’t live without. And many times all those people who had advice for you going in…have not much help during the actual marriage…why?? Cause they are struggling in their own marriage…now I don’t say that to say that everyone is struggling…I say that as a reminder that marriage is tough…even for the Uncle & Aunt Know-it-all…
My bride and I’s marriage has been what I think has been a typical marriage…good times…great times..and rough times…we are that typical opposites attract couple…which we both have a love/hate feeling about…she is very good with money and organization…and I am real good at spending money and crashing well laid out plans…she has often referred to me as the bull in a china closet…it is a term I can’t deny…
Through all of the muck and double rainbows…the biggest thing in common we have is our love for God…who..without His intervening in a few things…would have made us one of those lovely stats about married and divorced…I know that sounds simple…but when the mucky parts of marriage get dark and closed in…we both turn to Him..even during my valley time of late…she has been moving along in her walk…waiting for me to get back on track…and when I am going good and she is off I keep faithful as well waiting for her…together we rely on Him to help us understand each other…sometimes we hear Him and things go well…and sometimes we only hear ourselves…which is when we get ourselves in trouble..
I realize more today that He planned all this and for our life together to be what it is and where we are…have I enjoyed all of His plan? Nope…mainly because I am starting to see how much my selfishness and pride has gotten in the way of being a better husband…A LOT!!! I have done things and said things that I wish I could have back…and I still have some days of being a complete jerk…but she has a huge amount of forgiveness for my faults…and for that I am big time thankful…
So after 19 years…am I glad that she came down that aisle and said “I Do”?? Still a valid question…with all the ups and downs…kids…dogs…houses…cars….looks of disappointment…looks of joy…there is no question in my mind….
WOW where did the time go???
I know it has been way too long….life has been getting in the way of my writing here. Not that I think you have been waiting since April for my next writing..I hope you haven’t…cause you might be skin and bones by now…probably more bones than skin…
Well…let’s see…scale check…280 lbs this morning…not bad…but I have hit the wall..I just don’t have the want to to keep going right now..still good weight loss but it should be way more than that…but I will keep at it…just not as motivated…seems to be a consistent thing in my life…I heard this week from the pulpit that I am an otter personality…one that starts a lot of things…but doesn’t usually finish them…uh..like uh…blogs…and weight loss…and Bible study…and oh…wait…there is a few blog topics in there…..so OK maybe I do have a few things I could write about.. HEHE
Anyway…I will say that the past few months have been interesting to say the least…I think the best way to phrase it is I have been in a bit of a valley..and I can’t say what it is that is leading me there…other than my quiet time has been inconsistent to almost nil…and that, if I can be honest with myself, is where the majority of the problem really lies…I know that if I spend the time to seek God He is there…the great thing is that He is there even when I don’t seek Him.
I tell you this not as a way to publicly humiliate myself about not being a good Christian…but I say it to give my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ a bit of hope..to be a day in day devoted turned on for Christ Christian is tough.
I know this may shock some of you who are not believers but…ready?? I still sin ( cue gasp)…and sin will still be a part of my life no matter how much I read from Scriptures or how much time I spend in prayer…what I think we can lose sight of as Christians is how we should react when we don’t want to be Christian…
Yep…I said it..
There are times lately when life and those around me have made life hell that I have fleeting moments of chucking the Christian walk and just give into those sinful natures…
Well as I got back into my quiet time again this morning I remembered the apostle Paul struggled with sin…and I am not that far out to think I am better than him…
Struggles come and go…what we do with the valleys in our life can be a great time to look back and say…yep I stunk at this Christian walk for a bit but God was there waiting for me…and when I turned my eyes back to Him and placed my trust in Him…then that valley seemed not as big as it did yesterday…
What about you?? What have you done to get yourself out of the valley? Leave a comment and let me know.
Also if I can be praying for you…let me know as well…time to get groovin’
So anyway…as I wrote yesterday this has been an interesting year. I have written about some of the struggles…but now that I got that out of my system….what about the new year???? What am I going to really focus on in the new year???
Well I have to be honest…I hate the new year stuff….resolutions are such a beat down….we all attempt to make ourselves better and do this or that….but seriously…how many of your resolutions this year are the same ones you had last year?? I know I have a couple…I need to lose weight…(DUH!)…I am going to continue in growing closer to God…(that could also be a DUH unless you don’t believe in God…but I do…so DUH!)…I think we all want to be a better spouse and a better parent…I mean think about it if your resolution was to be a bad parent…and really try to tick off your spouse…you may need more than resolutions in your life…(see the one about closer to God…just sayin’)
So now that I got the obvious ones out of the way what does that leave?? I honestly don’t know….I do want to do all those things…so…if I just focus on those might that be easier than having a 10-15 list of things to improve..but I have a suggetion…for myself…(and you can listen in…)
Work on the one about God…cause I think…if I work on my relationship with the Creator and not the creation….then the rest of my resolutions would fall into place. In fact I dare say that if I continue to be a better follower of His word and His direction I might even get some resolutions that I hadn’t counted on…so what could be some growing closer resolutions??
I do know that I plan on being more committed to prayer…and more importantly committed to praying for others…how often do you tell friends I will pray for you?? I do a lot…but when the time comes…how often do you go back and follow through…sometimes I have struggled with what/how to pray for others…I suggest taking a look at Paul’s letter to the Colossians. Paul is great with bringing down to my level of focus. In Colossians 1:9-14 he ives us a step-by-step guide how to pray for others. It is awesome…give it a shot.
Oh boy…is this a tough one…why? Simple I work at a church…yea I know it sounds strange that a person who on staff at a church and he struggles with Worship. Well I am a behind the scenes guy…and when the folks are here to Worship…what am I doing?? Working to make it a good experience for them. I will give you an example…my kids were recently baptized and I sat with my wife in the Sanctuary and we watched them get dunked then we were joined by the kids during the Worship time once they dried off and we listened to a great message. Now that may sound normal to you but my wife and I realized that it was the first time we Worshiped as a family in 4 years. Nice Spiritual leading by me…ugh…but I can’t worry about the past I can only work better at the future…so I will step out of the control room and Worship more with my family this year.
3. Quiet time
This one up until about late October would not have been on the official list. I have been very good at working my way through the Bible for the past 2 years as CCBC is going through the Bible in 3 years. Well for some reason I got out of the habit…and now I struggle just doing the study I need to to prepare for the small group I am leading. So I will re-aim and get back at having my Bible…and my coffee and start the day by listen and reading His word!
Ok so there are 3 good resolutions to have…at least those are mine…like I said earlier if we all make a resolution to focus more on the Creator this year than on creation….I know that the other resolutions that we all think are important will seem unimportant or take care of themselves in a year….
How about you? What are you resoluting this year? Let me know….
Well time to get groovin’