So where was I??? Oh wow…it has been a while…the real last post was celebrating my 19th anniversary with my bride…and we just celebrated 20..where has all the time gone??
Oh well…water under the bridge…since last we talked things have changed a bit in my life. In December I left Christ Chapel Bible Church after 6 years of being on staff and started working for CRM Studios. Sounds like a quiet move but actually CRM is contracted by Glenn Beck and I am now the Technical Director for the Glenn Beck Show which is on GBTV.com . For those not in the TV world the TD is the guy who sits next to the director in the control room in front of a bunch of buttons and uses those buttons to put the video that you see on the air…
Sounds like a simple decision if you are in the TV world…but for those that are in the church world…maybe not so much. Well I can tell you that this job change was by far the hardest decision my bride and I have ever made (hint to married folks…I mentioned that we did it together…just a helpful marriage tip for free) in our married life about anything. I had some friends who were excited for me and some who thought I had sold out…I even had a liberal friend laughingly say wow so you quit working for Jesus and went to work for the devil….either way we made it and then plunged in with both feet…but not easily with both feet.
So now here we are 6 months later…and how do I feel? Well…so far so great. I am not going to get into the political side of working for a guy who is very political…in fact I don’t even want to write about Glenn at all. Nope this about trusting God…I know you are now saying what….wait uh….how can you turn this to trusting God?? Well duh…easy…if you think that I didn’t pray about this huge change then you need to put the crack pipe down and read the rest of these writings…God is central in my life and to do anything without Him is not something I would ever consider…
So getting to the trust part…yes I prayed…my wife prayed…I had some friends praying although I didn’t have many because we kept it pretty tight lipped…why?? Well because I didn’t think I would get the job…actually…I didn’t even want the job…yep…you read that right…I didn’t want the job with a very high profile individual that could be a great addition to the resume.
See I was approached by a friend who said he needed to hire a bunch of folks and would I help him with names…and then the conversation turned to the position of TD…he asked if I would be interested in the position….I said…nope…no interest what so ever….and that was true…I was happy at CCBC and was comfortable I mean why would I take a job that would not have me in charge of the department anymore…even after I decided to throw my name in the hat…I thought nothing about it…I didn’t think it would really happen…even after the 2nd interview…cause I figured I was doing what God wanted me to do…I was doing His work in His church…why would He put something else in front of me? Besides if I did take the job it would require me to leave my position immediately without a notice…
Now realize my boss at CCBC knew what was going on…so it wasn’t going to be a complete surprise…I am not that cold…OK…so quit thinking that..
So when the call came and the offer was on the table…I was on vacation I still thought…that this was not what God wanted…but something in my heart just said take it…and I did…and then…for the next week…I thought I had made a huge mistake…not because of the job…but because I had this pit in my stomach…like I had made a huge mistake…I even thought I would can the whole thing and get my old church job back… I now look back and see that pit in my stomach was my doubt to trust that what God had in store for me was not what I wanted to have in store for me…after a week or so I just decided I would trust Him and trust that He had what was best for me in mind…and you know what?? It has been awesome!! The company is great!!! The people are great!!! Also the challenge of being on the cutting edge of technology and get a chance to be a part of the great team that is GBTV….absolutely awesome!!
I say all this to show you that if you think you can’t trust God with a big thing like a job change or a career change STOP!! Trust Him even when it looks insane..and when it doesn’t make sense…I have no clue what He has in store for me…but if there is one thing I have learned is when you trust and really turn it over to Him…good things happen…maybe not even the way you think they should…in fact most the time it happens in a way you could never imagine…
Look folks…there is nothing too big for Him…He can handle it…just trust Him…and oh by the way…He is not surprised by your need or request…He knew it was coming…way before you knew it was coming…well…time to get groovin’…..
I know I have been neglectful to this blog, but I do want you to know that I don’t write just to fill space…I write when I feel like I have somethng to say or just get some thoughts out…I will start with a quick weight update…286..I should be further down the path but that is for another blog.
Today I want to talk about how heavy my heart is today as I have lost a special friend. I want to talk to you about Bubba. Greg Gambill has been a friend of mine for over 20 years and he died Tuesday in his home. He leaves behind a great family and friends galore.
To know Bubba is to know a lot of TV production history, WW II history and weather. Yes those were usually the topics he would love discuss with you. All the while letting you know how much he loved each of your opinions on each topic. Course most of the time he thought your opinion was not right but he was glad to see you had an opinion. He was the guy who also had opinion on everything that was going on…even if he had no clue what was going on…he knew exactly what he knew..I know that may sound egotistical but with Bubba you knew that he knew that you knew he had NO idea what he was talking about and would crack that smile like a kid who just swiped a small piece of gum from the candy store.
You could come to the TV truck frustrated at the way the day was going and he could make you smile just to hear him yell something a bit on the blue side…well..ok it was usually a lot on the blue side…but again he would flash that smile and you would be frustrated no more…
My time with Bubba had become time few and far between since I have left the world of the full time freelancer but he was one of the ones I always couldn’t wait to see at the truck when I did make it out to the truck. He would great me with that smile and immediately want to know what was going on in my life…and we would then drift off into a discussion of WW II Pacific battles…or whatever he felt like talking about…and just being around him for a day or two here and there made me happy…
Today starts another season of baseball..a time when we look forward to a new day and new chance to start the season clean. Today though I know there will be some hearts that are looking back to a life of a man who would spread joy, happiness and bit of loving crankiness. A man who was full of life and always had a comment on everything…and wasn’t afraid to tell you…in that oh so Bubba way….
Love you Bubba always…I will miss you Bubba always…time for you to get groovin’…
So…this Sunday is Father’s Day…this time of year is bittersweet for me. Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE being a dad…it is an overwhelming pleasure that God has blessed me with two great kids to raise…I just hope I am not planting them to deep. It is bittersweet cause my father is no longer around as he died in 1994. He was a HUGE influence in my life. He was always there to pick me up with a great story or joke. I was a strange kid as I never went through the phase of “my parents don’t know anything.” I knew the rough life my dad had been through and knew he was taking those lessons learned and giving his kids the best advice he could.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and wish he was still around. I see my kids growing up and think how much he would love watching their different personalities….most likely as much as he loved watched us kiddos growing up. Now I don’t have these overall Pollyanna thoughts on having a perfect dad and a perfect childhood…I know he made some mistakes as every parent did…I now think me having HBO in my room at the age of 10 was maybe not the best idea…plus there are other things he did that I am sure he would do differently…but wouldn’t we all. He did the best he could have with not much of a father figure to work with.
See my Granddad…let’s just say he liked the ladies…he was married 8 times…you could say 7 since he married one lady twice…but he did marry someone in between so….dad was shipped around from relative to relative for most of his childhood. His baby sister got adopted but not him so I wonder if he had this deep since of not being wanted. But it was out of this mixed-up childhood that he came out and became very successful in the broadcasting industry.
He wanted to be a play-by-play guy and had great dreams of being famous…but he realized quick that the former players (even in the 60’s) were getting all the good jobs…so he looked around Texas and decided he would move to the Midland/Odessa area. Why there??? Well he had just discovered the game of golf and realized he could play out there about 350 days a year cause of the weather…he did his best to accomplish that task too. In the “Petroplex” dad became a bit of an influence…he had a popular morning radio show, was on the TV as a sportscaster/weatherman, had a stint on the Odessa City Council and ran for Mayor..it was fun..but it was also hard as “Frank’s” kid to live up to the mystique…I knew I needed to be good and not upset the applecart…so I just decided to be a constant pleaser of him…if I could make him happy the my life was good..
What I am learning as I am now is I should have been turning to God my heavenly Father not my earthly father..my earthly father had a lot of faults..my heavenly Father has none. Course then we were not church going folk….remember that golf thing?? Yea…he was adamant about getting on the course before all the church going folk got there…so really I did not have the church upbringing…I sorta went to church in my high school days…but really nothing was sinking into my life…I was dating a great gal and she went church so I did too. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I decided to give into my heavenly Father’s call..in fact it was shortly after I did that my earthly father died…so God stepped in and showed Himself to me and I ran to His arms…but I still had that pleasing dad issues…even after his death.
I have since spent the last 16 years looking for a new earthly father type to fill that love/pleasing cup…and I have failed to find one…why?? I am understanding it is because I have been trying to put humans in a place that only God can fill..not my wife, my mom, my kids, my friends, my pastor, nor anyone can fill that cup…He is the only one…He is the only one to look to…and the great thing is He is there with me and His grace has taken the pleasing factor completely out of it…He loves me with all my faults and all my issues….
I have had to come to terms with not putting people on a pedestal…God is my rock…He is my Father….which has made this year’s Father’s Day a bit more sweeter…and a lot less bitter…
I love and miss you dad…
I love you Father God. I am so glad you are by my side and are a patient parent…help me be the best dad I can be…by turning my kid’s hearts more towards You than me….
Well….time to get groovin’
Today I was thinking about direction. As some of you may know I have been invovled in the TV industry professionally since I was 13. I started running camera on the weekends at a TV station in Midland, TX called KMID. My dad had been the weekend weatherman for a few years and before that was the 6 pm sports anchor. So that is how I ended up running camera at such a young age.
I know it sounds strange that they would turn a high dollar piece of equipment over to a 13 year old but really the uh camera was barely that. They started me out running the slide camera which was an old, and I mean old, camera that would shoot the slides which were put over the anchor’s shoulders. This camera was held together with cables, seriously, two cables wrapped around from top to bottom. If the slide was crooked you could just pull one cable and the camera would lean one way or the other.
Anyway all that to say I learned right away that I was going to have to pay close attention to the director or I bring down the show. I mean it sounds small but if you had a slide of a fire over the shoulder but the story was about a carnival in town it could send the wrong message. Directing in TV is hard, I understand that now more than ever because that just what I do now. I direct the video portion of our servivces at Christ Chapel. Telling people where to go and where to be can be a bit nuts but I have a great bunch of volunteers who understand when I say “get me the women choir leftside” they follow.
Direction in TV is important but direction in life is way more important. Christ Chapel is spending the next two years reading through the Old Testament. It has been awesome at times and sawdust at times, but I am enjoying reading parts of the Word that I have never dove into and seeing what God wants me to learn. Today in my bibletime I was reading in Numbers chapter 2. This can be a bit dry since it is basically God directing the Israelites on where they will put up their tents and what order those tents shall be, and finally who is in charge of each tribe.
I came to verse 34 which states, “Thus the sons of Israel did; according to all that the LORD commanded Moses, so they camped by their standards, and so they set out, every one by his family according to his father’s household.” (NASV) Now I really like what the Message version says, “The People of Israel did everything the way God commanded Moses: They camped under their respective flags; they marched by tribe with their ancestral families.” This struck me cause they actually did it. The Israelites took God’s direction and did it. “Everything the way God commanded…” God gave the direction and they followed. I really wish I could be that obedient. God wants to direct my life but I get in the way thinking I have a better shot or a better way to get what I want and not what He wants. Then I screw up and there is the replay right there in front of me. The replay of God directing me, but my choosing to go another path.
If I understand how important submitting to a director is when I am working a TV show….then why can’t I understand how much more important it is to submit to the ultimate director. The good news that God give me Grace. Grace to screw up…swish pan…pop zoom in..put the wrong subject in my lens…Grace…He can gives us Grace to cover those replays that we wish we did not have in our lives. All we have to do after the replay is submit and listen for His direction….time to get groovin’
OK so I was just out in Las Vegas for the annual NAB convention. For those of you wondering NAB stands for National Association of Broadcasters. Now our church is not on TV and I know it sounds strange that as a church staff member I would go out to Vegas, but this is the convention of conventions for those of us doing video, film, and radio so you have to go where the stuff is. Wow was there stuff this year. The convention center in Vegas has 2 Million square feet of exhibit space….2 MILLION…and it was all full of new gadgets and gizmos of all kinds of video, lighting, radio transmitters, and electronic thing-a-ma-bobs. Why there was even a 4×4 vehicle with and HD mounted camera on the front that you control from the passenger seat. I am still trying to figure out how to work that one into next years budget…..
So anyway this year the big deal at the big deal convention…..3D. In my best Ben Stein voice…wow. Very underwhelming. I mean seriously…really?? I am trying to wrap my head around an industry that has decided that THIS TIME…no really…THIS TIME 3D is going to work!!! UGH!!! I mean I don’t want you to think I don’t think 3D is cool…it is…I mean Avatar was absolutely AWESOME from a technology and WOW factor..by the way Dances With Wolves called and they want their storyline back…and all the worship the tree stuff….whatever that could be a whole other blog.
Sorry back on track…the techno stuff that the movie brought in was unbelievable and definitely raised the bar for any 3D stuff behind it. So now because of that companies want you to jettison that HD TV you just bought (I say you cause I still don’t have one…yea I am that guy…the one involved in the video world but has not had time to be a consumer of the video world…) and they want you to buy a 3D TV for around $3000 and they will throw in 2 pairs of glasses for free. Gee thanks…my family of four will ove the two glasses…so now buy 2 more pair. Of course I know this doesn’t happen at your house… but at mine…I can’t even find the remote control on a regular basis…that is while I am tripping over the XBox and Wii controllers…so having to keep up with four pairs of glasses would be a NIGHTMARE!!!!!
I really think this new 3D fascination in your home will die down..as it has each time it comes around. I know there are enough people out there who have to be the Jones’ on their block and run out and get it…well..good for them. I mean seriously think about it this industry wants you to change your TV watching when they can’t even agree on what kind of HD they want to use 720 or 1080….time to get groovin’