Category Archives: God

Trust…Do You Have It??


So where was I??? Oh wow…it has been a while…the real last post was celebrating my 19th anniversary with my bride…and we just celebrated 20..where has all the time gone??

Oh well…water under the bridge…since last we talked things have changed a bit in my life.  In December I left Christ Chapel Bible Church after 6 years of being on staff and started working for CRM Studios. Sounds like a quiet move but actually CRM is contracted by Glenn Beck and I am now the Technical Director for the Glenn Beck Show which is on GBTV.com .  For those not in the TV world the TD is the guy who sits next to the director in the control room in front of a bunch of buttons and uses those buttons to put the video that you see on the air…

Sounds like a simple decision if you are in the TV world…but for those that are in the church world…maybe not so much.  Well I can tell you that this job change was by far the hardest decision my bride and I have ever made (hint to married folks…I mentioned that we did it together…just a helpful marriage tip for free) in our married life about anything.   I had some friends who were excited for me and some who thought I had sold out…I even had a liberal friend laughingly say wow so you quit working for Jesus and went to work for the devil….either way we made it and then plunged in with both feet…but not easily with both feet.

So now here we are 6 months later…and how do I feel?  Well…so far so great.  I am not going to get into the political side of working for a guy who is very political…in fact I don’t even want to write about Glenn at all.  Nope this about trusting God…I know you are now saying what….wait uh….how can you turn this to trusting God?? Well duh…easy…if you think that I didn’t pray about this huge change then you need to put the crack pipe down and read the rest of these writings…God is central in my life and to do anything without Him is not something I would ever consider…

So getting to the trust part…yes I prayed…my wife prayed…I had some friends praying although I didn’t have many because we kept it pretty tight lipped…why?? Well because I didn’t think I would get the job…actually…I didn’t even want the job…yep…you read that right…I didn’t want the job with a very high profile individual that could be a great addition to the resume.

See I was approached by a friend who said he needed to hire a bunch of folks and would I help him with names…and then the conversation turned to the position of TD…he asked if I would be interested in the position….I said…nope…no interest what so ever….and that was true…I was happy at CCBC and was comfortable I mean why would I take a job that would not have me in charge of the department anymore…even after I decided to throw my name in the hat…I thought nothing about it…I didn’t think it would really happen…even after the 2nd interview…cause I figured I was doing what God wanted me to do…I was doing His work in His church…why would He put something else in front of me? Besides if I did take the job it would require me to leave my position immediately without a notice…

Now realize my boss at CCBC knew what was going on…so it wasn’t going to be a complete surprise…I am not that cold…OK…so quit thinking that..

So when the call came and the offer was on the table…I was on vacation I still thought…that this was not what God wanted…but something in my heart just said take it…and I did…and then…for the next week…I thought I had made a huge mistake…not because of the job…but because I had this pit in my stomach…like I had made a huge mistake…I even thought I would can the whole thing and get my old church job back… I now look back and see that pit in my stomach was my doubt to trust that what God had in store for me was not what I wanted to have in store for me…after a week or so I just decided I would trust Him and trust that He had what was best for me in mind…and you know what??  It has been awesome!!  The company is great!!!  The people are great!!! Also the challenge of being on the cutting edge of technology and get a chance to be a part of the great team that is GBTV….absolutely awesome!!

I say all this to show you that if you think you can’t trust God with a big thing like a job change or a career change STOP!!  Trust Him even when it looks insane..and when it doesn’t make sense…I have no clue what He has in store for me…but if there is one thing I have learned is when you trust and really turn it over to Him…good things happen…maybe not even the way you think they should…in fact most the time it happens in a way you could never imagine…

Look folks…there is nothing too big for Him…He can handle it…just trust Him…and oh by the way…He is not surprised by your need or request…He knew it was coming…way before you knew it was coming…well…time to get groovin’…..


19 and Counting


So today…is a good day…why??

Well 19 years ago today I saw a vision of loveliness come down an aisle.  Yep today my girlfriend made the nutty decision to say “I Do” in front of a few folks…am I glad she did?? Good question…

News flash!! Marriage is tough!  OK maybe not red hot news flash…but it is hard…once all the fluff and excitement of the wedding and honeymoon is over you wake up and go… “Hi…who are you again??” I know that sounds stupid…but if you are married hopefully you get my meaning..

Leading up to the ceremony we get all the advice we can take….and most we didn’t ask for in the first place about what it takes to have a good marriage…but afterwards…the two newlyweds and shown the door of the church and everyone seems to say…. “Well….see ya later…let’s us know when the kid is born…”

Then you go through the growing pains of figuring out the good parts and the bad parts of the person you couldn’t live without.  And many times all those people who had advice for you going in…have not much help during the actual marriage…why??  Cause they are struggling in their own marriage…now I don’t say that to say that everyone is struggling…I say that as a reminder that marriage is tough…even for the Uncle & Aunt Know-it-all…

My bride and I’s marriage has been what I think has been a typical marriage…good times…great times..and rough times…we are that typical opposites attract couple…which we both have a love/hate feeling about…she is very good with money and organization…and I am real good at spending money and crashing well laid out plans…she has often referred to me as the bull in a china closet…it is a term I can’t deny…

Through all of the muck and double rainbows…the biggest thing in common we have is our love for God…who..without His intervening in a few things…would have made us one of those lovely stats about married and divorced…I know that sounds simple…but when the mucky parts of marriage get dark and closed in…we both turn to Him..even during my valley time of late…she has been moving along in her walk…waiting for me to get back on track…and when I am going good and she is off I keep faithful as well waiting for her…together we rely on Him to help us understand each other…sometimes we hear Him and things go well…and sometimes we only hear ourselves…which is when we get ourselves in trouble..

I realize more today that He planned all this and for our life together to be what it is and where we are…have I enjoyed all of His plan?  Nope…mainly because I am starting to see how much my selfishness and pride has gotten in the way of being a better husband…A LOT!!! I have done things and said things that I wish I could have back…and I still have some days of being a complete jerk…but she has a huge amount of forgiveness for my faults…and for that I am big time thankful…

So after 19 years…am I glad that she came down that aisle and said “I Do”??  Still a valid question…with all the ups and downs…kids…dogs…houses…cars….looks of disappointment…looks of joy…there is no question in my mind….

YES!


Down In The Valley


WOW where did the time go???
I know it has been way too long….life has been getting in the way of my writing here. Not that I think you have been waiting since April for my next writing..I hope you haven’t…cause you might be skin and bones by now…probably more bones than skin…
Well…let’s see…scale check…280 lbs this morning…not bad…but I have hit the wall..I just don’t have the want to to keep going right now..still good weight loss but it should be way more than that…but I will keep at it…just not as motivated…seems to be a consistent thing in my life…I heard this week from the pulpit that I am an otter personality…one that starts a lot of things…but doesn’t usually finish them…uh..like uh…blogs…and weight loss…and Bible study…and oh…wait…there is a few blog topics in there…..so OK maybe I do have a few things I could write about.. HEHE
Anyway…I will say that the past few months have been interesting to say the least…I think the best way to phrase it is I have been in a bit of a valley..and I can’t say what it is that is leading me there…other than my quiet time has been inconsistent to almost nil…and that, if I can be honest with myself, is where the majority of the problem really lies…I know that if I spend the time to seek God He is there…the great thing is that He is there even when I don’t seek Him.
I tell you this not as a way to publicly humiliate myself about not being a good Christian…but I say it to give my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ a bit of hope..to be a day in day devoted turned on for Christ Christian is tough.
I know this may shock some of you who are not believers but…ready?? I still sin ( cue gasp)…and sin will still be a part of my life no matter how much I read from Scriptures or how much time I spend in prayer…what I think we can lose sight of as Christians is how we should react when we don’t want to be Christian…
Yep…I said it..
There are times lately when life and those around me have made life hell that I have fleeting moments of chucking the Christian walk and just give into those sinful natures…
Well as I got back into my quiet time again this morning I remembered the apostle Paul struggled with sin…and I am not that far out to think I am better than him…
Struggles come and go…what we do with the valleys in our life can be a great time to look back and say…yep I stunk at this Christian walk for a bit but God was there waiting for me…and when I turned my eyes back to Him and placed my trust in Him…then that valley seemed not as big as it did yesterday…

What about you?? What have you done to get yourself out of the valley? Leave a comment and let me know.

Also if I can be praying for you…let me know as well…time to get groovin’


Same Ol’, Same Ol’ Resolutions?


So anyway…as I wrote yesterday this has been an interesting year. I have written about some of the struggles…but now that I got that out of my system….what about the new year????  What am I going to really focus on in the new year???

Well I have to be honest…I hate the new year stuff….resolutions are such a beat down….we all attempt to make ourselves better and do this or that….but seriously…how many of your resolutions this year are the same ones you had last year??  I know I have a couple…I need to lose weight…(DUH!)…I am going to continue in growing closer to God…(that could also be a DUH unless you don’t believe in God…but I do…so DUH!)…I think we all want to be a better spouse and a better parent…I mean think about it if your resolution was to be a bad parent…and really try to tick off your spouse…you may need more than resolutions in your life…(see the one about closer to God…just sayin’)

So now that I got the obvious ones out of the way what does that leave??  I honestly don’t know….I do want to do all those things…so…if I just focus on those might that be easier than having a 10-15 list of things to improve..but I have a suggetion…for myself…(and you can listen in…)

Work on the one about God…cause I think…if I work on my relationship with the Creator and not the creation….then the rest of my resolutions would fall into place.  In fact I dare say that if I continue to be a better follower of His word and His direction I might even get some resolutions that I hadn’t counted on…so what could be some growing closer resolutions??

1. Prayer

I do know that I plan on being more committed to prayer…and more importantly committed to praying for others…how often do you tell friends I will pray for you??  I do a lot…but when the time comes…how often do you go back and follow through…sometimes I have struggled with what/how to pray for others…I suggest taking a look at Paul’s letter to the Colossians. Paul is great with bringing down to my level of focus.  In Colossians 1:9-14 he ives us a step-by-step guide how to pray for others. It is awesome…give it a shot.

2. Worship

Oh boy…is this a tough one…why?  Simple I work at a church…yea I know it sounds strange that a person who on staff at a church and he struggles with Worship.  Well I am a behind the scenes guy…and when the folks are here to Worship…what am I doing??  Working to make it a good experience for them.  I will give you an example…my kids were recently baptized and I sat with my wife in the Sanctuary and we watched them get dunked then we were joined by the kids during the Worship time once they dried off and we listened to a great message.  Now that may sound normal to you but my wife and I realized that it was the first time we Worshiped as a family in 4 years.  Nice Spiritual leading by me…ugh…but I can’t worry about the past I can only work better at the future…so I will step out of the control room and Worship more with my family this year.

3. Quiet time

This one up until about late October would not have been on the official list. I have been very good at working my way through the Bible for the past 2 years as CCBC is going through the Bible in 3 years.  Well for some reason I got out of the habit…and now I struggle just doing the study I need to to prepare for the small group I am leading.  So I will re-aim and get back at having my Bible…and my coffee and start the day by listen and reading His word!

Ok so there are 3 good resolutions to have…at least those are mine…like I said earlier if we all make a resolution to focus more on the Creator this year than on creation….I know that the other resolutions that we all think are important will seem unimportant or take care of themselves in a year….

How about you?  What are you resoluting this year? Let me know….

Well time to get groovin’


Yes Lord…


So anyway…today is a struggle for me.  I am looking back over the summer and thinking…where did it go?  I had great plans for this summer…I was going to going to spend a lot of time with the family…I was going to clean out the out of control room which doubles as my office….I was going to dive deep into the book of Colossians so that I could start a small group this fall made up of video volunteers…what the heck happened?

Life…life got in the way…we had a real busy time around the house… seems like every week there was one kid going one way and another going the other…and then there was stuff happening all around Christ Chapel…we had over 1000 kids during our Kids Kamp…another 350 during MusiCamp….plus we are getting ready to celebrate the church’s 30th anniversary…while planning for new buildings to be built…oh and we are also starting a new Worship service.  So yea it got a little crazy.

But I have come to realize that life will get in the way…my problem is I feel like I am never ready for it to get in the way…what is more important is that I am realizing that plans that are important to me and my ego are not as important as to what God has planned…which not going to lie..can be a bit of a bummer…we want to get our things done…it is easy for us to be “I” orientated…but when God brings things to us that He wants done…we say not now Lord…but we need to quit that and say, yes Lord.

I know that it can be tough but God wants us to be ready for Him…now I am still wanting to get some of these things done…I think God is wanting me to get better organized and prioritize my life…which as a creative brain thinker is going to stink…but I am starting to see the good side of it…I just struggle with that kind of thing cause I want to be loose and let things just flow…but I guess I can’t…RATS!!! This will be a fun exercise in how does someone who has never wanted to organize anything…organize something..just one thing…that will be the baby step…

I want to say yes Lord….He is the one who brought me the life I have…His grace is so powerful  in my life…and some of my friends who read these humble writings and knew me before He grabbed a hold of me…y’all know what I am talking about…So yes Lord…whatever You need…I am sorry if I whine a bit cause my ego is hurt and my life plans don’t seem to match up with Yours…but yes Lord I am here….time to get groovin’….


A Blog About Nothing…


OK…so anyway….I am sitting at what has become my favorite place in the house…on my back porch sipping some coffee…of course this is Aledo, TX and it is 10:12 am and the temp is already 90…but I have a ceiling fan and it feels like a nice cool 88…cause it is the shade…it has been a hot summer…but it was a cool summer last year so…we are now paying for it…so quit complaining it’s hot…don’t like it just move….anyway…this one today is not about the weather…I think it maybe a blog rule to not mention the weather…but I am not a big blogger so who is going to notice…

Today from my back porch I was thinking…what should I write about since it has been a bit…I could write about the struggles I continue to have with motivation to get to the gym…in fact one of my blogs got my good friend Rusty in trouble…cause I mentioned that I was renewed and going back to the gym…well I did…but I haven’t been back since…so Rusty got in trouble and well…my fault…next time we go on a road trip…I will buy him some beef jerky and all will be forgiven….anyway… I have to realize that you may not even care that I am human and struggling with my weight…and how I just need to work through my ineptness and just keep praying the God would get my butt in the gym…so that is no good…

I could write something about what is going on at Christ Chapel…my workplace…which by the way is a lot…we have a lot going on…and those of us behind the scenes are working our tails off and God is in all of it…and well since He is in all of it…it is going to work out…so why do we worker bees get worked up??  Cause we are human…and being human means we need to get worked up…the other reason to not write about CCBC??  Makes it feel like a commercial…and you didn’t come here for a commercial about a good church…not a perfect church as Ted likes to say…but a good church…so that subject is out…

I could become real political and write about the state of the country….ah….nope….too easy…next.

Let’s see….maybe I could tell you what God is doing in my life…it would be a long list…but…I would have to put in how I am getting in the way more than I should and how I should just stand back and let Him lead…but my human nature again is wanting Him to hurry up and get to the things that are important to me…not Him…plus…I am most likely the only person this happens too…so I guess all I can say is Father God…thanks for grace…again..

I know I could write how freaked out I am about having a Middle Schooler…how inept I feel at being a dad…especially when I see the teenager creeping into my 12 year old…and how I don’t have a clue how to do this…and how I am panicked about how I am going to do this and then add another one in 2 years….and how she is way too much like me and I am in big trouble…but again…I need to give that over to God…funny how it keeps coming back to Him…

Well…the coffee has run out…and it is feeling like the temp is around 90….and I used the word inept twice…and we are going to go to the museum and air conditioning…cause man…it’s hot…time to get groovin’…


The Echo Conference


So what was I saying??  I know it has been a while…busy summer…sorry folks..plus just really didn’t have much to say..OK now that we got that out of the way…

So I attended the Echo Conference this past week…for those of you wondering..here is their definition. “A media and tech conference for creative church leaders.”  Yep…go ahead think it…”oh all the techno folks have a conference…how sweet…”  Yes it was fairly geek heavy but we are what we are and there isn’t much one can do about the gifts God has given you.  Also you can’t do much when God wants you somewhere.  I say that cause if you would have asked me on Tuesday morning if I was going I would have said no.  I wanted to go but didn’t get my act together in time to pay the cheap price to go and just didn’t think I could justify the expense…but Tuesday afternoon I got a txt from a friend asking if I wanted to go cause there was an extra ticket available….uh…huh…yea I will take it…so glad I did…

I really didn’t know what to expect…I have been to a few conferences before..mostly trying to tell you how churches need to be on the cutting edge to be relevant…authentic…true to itself…all good buzz words…all words that drive me nuts.  The church to me has always been and always will be about Jesus..it is that simple…not matter how churches try to dress it up it still needs to come back to Him.  He is why the church exists.  He is the message we have to get out there.

I got that re-enforced last week…I also remembered that is why I do my job…not for fame and fortune…Todd Wagner the Pastor at Watermark church reminded us that do the tech and media stuff in the church that “you will always be underpaid and undervalued…”  He is right…but there are other ways we should get satisfaction from the work we do…we do what we do for the love of Christ not to make a lot of money..or to be praised..that last part…the praise part…by the way…I think is the biggest struggle we as creative folks have…we work really hard at something editing…lighting…writing…designing that graphic (7 hrs on a pillowcase)…and give it to the ministry that wanted it and they just go “ok…thanks..”  That can be hard because we pour our whole being into something and then get an “ok…thanks…”

I got reminded last week that our Father does not look at our work and go “ok…thanks..”  He loves everything we do..no matter how much time we take to do it…He can use what we do in any fashion He wants.

One session that hit me right between the eyes was with Blaine Hogan who works at Willow Creek…he challenged me to start taking time when putting something together…time with just me and God…time for me to work through things…he made a statement “Most Christian art seems like propaganda.”  He is right…we try to get done what we can in the shortest time so we can get onto the next project…we need to take time to really think “how can what I am doing best reflect Christ.”

I know this post is kinda long…sorry…been working on this in my head for the weekend…still can’t get out what I want too but one final thing…we as Christians need to remember that just because we shine up the story of Christ…put chrome on it…light it with moving lights and add more smoke…the story is still the story…it hasn’t changed in 2000 years and it is not going to change…We need to get out there and think how can we share that story…how can we change the hearts of people cause as another speaker Matt Knisely said it best “The traditional way we have communicated from head to heart is not good anymore…we need to go to the heart then it will go to the head.”  Well…time to get groovin’…


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